Our First Fathers Day

Today is Fathers Day! It gives me goosebumps to know that this day now involves and celebrates us too! When I first came to terms with being gay the thought of not being able to have children crushed me to the core. I from a very young age thought much about a family of my own and what type of father I would be. I promised myself I would be a loving, accepting, encouraging and involved father. I promised myself that my children would always be my priority and my constant commitment would be to them. As I laid in bed at a young age, absent of a father I promised myself that I would never make my child feel not important and alone. Some storys I have read state many men turn into there fathers when they have children, but I promised myself that I would break that trend. Now our children are here and I have started living out my "Promises" already with the most amazing husband I could ask for.

Today we also celebrate the first full day home with our little Jordyn. While this is such an incredible milestone for our little sweet heart, it was hard for the three of us to leave last night without Sawyer but we all said a little prayer for his quick return home so he can join us soon. 

Many have asked how the first night with Jordyn was.. It was amazing.. Brett and I were so in tune with eachother for her care it was amazing.. We decided to stick with the hospital schedule of feeding every 3 hours and that seemed to work for her. She was not as settled as she was at the hospital, but she did great. We can most certainly tell she misses her brother.. 

We will be packing up soon and heading back to the hospital so we can all spend our first Father's Day together as a family. The hospital has let us know when Jordyn comes back for visits she can go into the crib with Sawyer while we are there with him which is great!

 I would like to take a moment and direct this to Brett now...

Brett,

How fast time has passed since we first met five years ago. I remember our first date we had a casual conversation about wanting kids and I saw that spark as soon as I brought it up. I knew right then you wanted this just as much as I did.

It was not an easy road for us to get here but with the love and support we received along the way we now have two beautiful children together. Over the last 13 days I have watched you watchover and nuture our children. You have graciously taken on the big role of "Stay at home Daddy" and I know your going to be amazing. You gentle touch, and love and adore in your eyes is so comforting for not only our children but to me as well.

The last week I have been back at work while you spend up to 14 hours a day at the hospital watching over Sawyer and Jordyn until I can come and join the three of you. Your dedication to our children and to our family brings tears of joy to my eyes. I am so lucky to have you and will forever be greatful for our forever bond together which has grown so much deeper since the birth of our children.

I celebrate you today Brett, as an amazing Father and an amazing Husband. Your unconditional love for the three of us melts my heart and I can not wait for the exciting years ahead.

Happy Fathers Day Brett!

Love you Always and Forever,

Justin, Sawyer, Jordyn and Nikayla

Hospital Transfer, Baby Shower and so much LOVE!

It has been a very eventful week to say the least...

Let’s start off with a little update on the kids...

Sawyer - This little man has pretty much 100% resolved his respiratory issues that he was struggling with and has had substantial improvement over the past few days. The only thing he needs to continue to work on is his feeding now. This little guy is getting tuckered out really easy and feeding consistently has been a slight challenge for him. He’s working his best so he can come home at the same time as his sister Jordyn.. He is co bedding with Jordyn now, which we love so much. They spent 34 weeks together and I know they were missing each other so it’s so special to see them together again. 

Jordyn - What can we say about little Ms Jordyn... She’s such a strong little lady, her strength amazes her daddy’s every day. Jordyn has been very alert these past few days and we constantly get lost in her beautiful eyes. Her looking up at us with such purity and innocence is something that we treasure so much. We sit there studying each other’s faces and taking in every moment we have together. Jordyn and Sawyer’s lives will be full of love, laughter and adventure when they come home. They will have two daddy’s that will love and commit everything they have to there happiness and well-being and they have an amazing community of friends and family that will love and support them every step of the way. These two little ones are so blessed to have you all and so are we.

Not having our kids home with us has been a bit of an emotional obstacle that we have been working on together to ensure that we both stay level and positive. We have been very strong through this all, but I had a bit of an emotional break this past Sunday night. I think it was a combination of everything that had happened leading up to Sunday... I laid in bed and the tears started flowing. All I could picture in my head was Jordyn and Sawyer.. I know how connected I am to them and I know how I feel when we are apart so my heart ached knowing that they could be feeling the same way. I felt like I was abandoning them by not being there every moment... While I know this is not the case the mind can do silly things when your highly emotional and on very little sleep. Being a dedicated father and husband has become my sole priority in life and that encompasses a lot of new responsibility. I am feeling ready and excited for whatever comes my way and know that the bound that Brett and I have together and now with our children,  this will allow us to achieve beautiful things together as a family.

Let’s talk a little bit about our Baby Shower.... WOW.... I can’t even begin to express what an amazing experience this was.. My heart was filled with so much love by all the support we have received and the out pouring of love we got at our shower. We had people coming from all over the Okanagan and Lower Mainland to share this special day with us. We had over 100 people join us and we filled our Friend Toni and Dave’s restaurant to celebrate Jordyn and Sawyer. For those of you who joined us, thank you for sharing this day with us. While we may not have had as much time to spend with each person it was so special to see this out pouring of love and support. And to the Ladies who spent countless hours planning and organizing our shower, from the bottom of all our hearts we thank you for making one of the most heartwarming experience yet. Love you all so much...

As many of you know Jordyn and Sawyer were transferred to a hospital closer to home which is so nice because the long drives where really adding up on us. It was a bitter sweet moment for us for many reasons. We developed a "Family" at Royal Columbian Hospital with all the staff in the NICU and they made our journey into parenthood so amazing. They helped us understand everything every step of the way and involved us in any way they could. We also found out that the Royal Columbian NICU is underfunded for equipment which was so heartbreaking knowing the importance of the work they do. We recently had a very lovely lady send us a message and let us know that she was going to send a donation to the Royal Columbian NICU in Jordyn and Sawyers name. This touched our hearts so much that someone who does not know us directly would make such a beautiful gesture in our children’s name. Brett and I have talked and we will be looking at some sort of fundraiser campaign in the near future with all funds raised going to the Royal Columbian NICU.. So we will keep you posted. But in the meantime... If anyone is looking to make a worthy donation to a department that impacts families from across the province please consider "Royal Columbian NICU". The money they raise goes towards equipment to keep these sweet little angel healthy and safe.

Now back to our hospital transfer... Initially things went good, but within a day we got caught up in a bunch of policy red tape... As mentioned before Brett and I had all of our legal paperwork done ahead of time to avoid any issues once the babies arrived.. Royal Columbian was fantastic with all of this information and never once made us feel like we were "Secondary Parents". This all started when the social worker contacted Raylene and advised she needed to sign some forms one being a form to authorize Brett and I to see our own children... Once Raylene shared this with me my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach... I could not comprehend why we would need authorization as we had all the legal paperwork in place and had no issues at the previous hospital. Some may know that in April 2013 the law and process changed for couples conceiving children through surrogacy. It has now become a lot easier for intended parents if they have filed all the appropriate paperwork with a lawyer and that is exactly what we did. Unfortunately the Social Worker involved was not familar with the new law changes, which was surprising to us both. When we tried to educate her and provided her with all the required information she continued to push back and was not willing to understand that what she was doing was incorrect and that we had done everything to avoid what she was trying to pull. She even went as far to interrupt us from bathing our children for the first time and was telling Brett that we will not be able to make medical decision on our children as all the proper paperwork had not been filed and that we needed to go to court to get things processed before we could be fully recognized as Sawyer and Jordyns sole parents.

As anyone could imagine Brett and I were extremely upset about this as this woman was making uneducated claims and had no idea what she was talking about. We escalated this to her supervisor and involved our lawyer and things are now getting resolved. This Social Worker came down today again and let Brett know that she was not aware of the changes in the law and after speaking with our lawyer now understands what needs to happen and was going to reverse the mess she was making. While this is great news, she will never be able to undo what she said and how she made us feel and on top of it all she could not even apologize for the upset she caused. The silver lining in this all is now this hospital now knows how to deal with surrogacy and no other family will have to feel the way we did. At the end of the day this was just a case of someone not doing their homework before injecting themselves into a family’s life.. So the good news now is everything should be resolved by days end and we will not have to feel any less involved moving forward. While this was not a great experience I can not say enough great things about the NICU nurses here. You are all universally amazing. Both hospitals have been absolutely incredibly . So much care and they have always been so supportive of us and our family. Of any of you are reading this, we LOVE you and you have all equally made such a positive impact on all of our lives! 

Thank you again for everyone who has been following us, we continue to get messages from all around the world and surpassed 10000 views in 36 hours on our last post alone. The purpose of this blog is to share our story with you all but also to provide hope to other couples out there wanting the same in life. My words to you “Never give up on what’s most important, no matter the obstacles that come along with the right support you can overcome anything”

Chat soon my friends...

Justin

Hearts filled with Love and Joy - The birth of Jordyn and Sawyer Mallard Rancourt - 34 Weeks 3 days

So much love, so much joy, so much happiness, so much admiration.....That is what Brett and I are full of right now. As most of you know the past 9 days have been an incredible journey for us and Raylene. We have been riding a roller coast of emotions since last Thursday.

So lets start with last Thursday.... Raylene was admitted to Chilliwack General Hospital for observation as she was starting to show the early onset signs of pre eclampsia which can be very dangerous for her and the babies if it progressed to far. She had 24 hour monitoring and was advised the following morning that they were going to transfer her over to Royal Columbian Hospital to be induced. We had to be transferred there because it was only one of two hospitals that was fully equipped to deal with the potential issues that could arise with Raylene and the babies.. Once we arrived via ambulance Raylene had some more tests and we were then told that they would be able to put delivery off for another 2-3 weeks with close monitoring. This was hard to take for us all because within 24 hours we were told twice they were coming and once they were now not. We obviously did not want them to come this early because of the risks, however mentally it was hard for us to manage the yes then no's. We all understood the Dr's were trying there best to balance Raylenes health and the babies health at the same time. So from that point we really realized and accepted that this truly was going to be day by day and just to be prepared for whatever was to happen next.

Sunday rolls around and Raylenes blood pressure started to climb more and they tried to medicate her to bring it down but it did the opposite and it continued to rise. At this time it was only me and Raylene and Jeremy was just on his way to get Brett to come out for a "Visit" as they had no idea what was starting to happen. Within 45 minutes of her Blood Pressure rising they took her down to labor and delivery to prep her to bring our little ones into this world. I instantly panic.... "OMG I can't do this on my own, where is Brett and Jeremy".. I called to let them know whats going on and they raced out as quick as they could, but of all days got stuck in major traffic. Once they finally arrived they started pretty much right away and induced Raylene at 7:24pm on Sunday June 1st. Generally Raylenes labours have gone very quick with her kids, so we expected this to go very quickly too. 12 long hours later still no babies and after roughly 15 minutes of pushing our little twin A (Jordyn) did not want to come out. The dr's at this time believed it would be safest to delivery them via Csection and started to prep there staff and OR for this.

Fast forwarding ahead, with her amazing husband at her side Raylene delivered our two perfect little angels at 8:41am (Jordyn) and 8:43am (Sawyer) on June 2nd 2014. Raylene and Jeremy were in the OR with roughly 14 medical team members to ensure that everything and everyone was looked after. Shortly after there birth I see two nurses walking down the hallway towards us and the NICU holding our two beautiful children. Our hearts filled with so many emotions and eyes filled with tears we get to meet our Son and Daughter for the first time. 

 As we went into the NICU with the medical team we immediately notice that Sawyer was not doing nearly as well as his "Older" sister. Only getting to see his sweet little face for less then 30 seconds the NICU nurses and Respiratory Therapists started working with him to try and regulate his breathing. 

Sawyer was born with a pnuemothorax and "Wet Lungs". What this means is Sawyer had a small tear due to birthing trauma in his right lung and it was creating a "Bubble" of air in the lining of his lung that was putting pressure on his poor little lung from inflating properly. So this combined with his wet lung, which is fluid in the lungs caused major breathing issues. After roughly 24 hours things were not improving so they had to give him a chest tube to relieve the pressure. Once this was done it still was not working the way they wanted it too and we were told to be prepared for our little son to be intubated. As the words were coming out there mouth I tried to maintain my calm collected self but could feel myself breaking down by the second on the inside. I walked up to my son in his incubator, placed my hand on his chest with tears rolling down my face as I felt his poor little chest collapse beneath my hand and feel how much he is struggling to breath. I took a moment I just wanted to take all his pain away, I wanted to switch places with him and take his struggles away. That moment I felt so connected to my son and I could tell he knew his Daddies where by his side cheering him on as we will for the rest of his life.

As time went by Sawyer started to improve by the hour, his strength avoided being intubated and showed us how strong he is and will always be. We were so proud of him for fighting so hard and making the improvements he had made in such a short period of time.  He is now off all breathing assistance, however is still working really hard but doing great.

Now our little Jordyn... Lets just say this little lady will rule the house with her two Daddies and Brother always by her side. She was so strong from the moment she was born and with so much personality right away. She was off her Cpap machine within 12 hours and was bottle feeding 12 hours after that. By Thursday night, so rough 3 days old she was out of her incubator, in a "Big girl" crib and without an IV. She is such a strong beautiful little girl and we are so proud to call her our daughter.

I now want to take a moment and talk about the staff at Royal Columbian Hospital. Words can not even begin to explain how we feel about this amazing group of people. They have forever impacted our lives and showed us how beautiful a complete stranger can be. They have since day one taken an invested interest in our children, Raylene's and Brett and I's well being. They have always explained everything to us and walked us through all of our concerns we have had. They have almost become family to us which is so important because they spend so much time ensuring our babies get healthy enough to come home. Two night ago was our first night away from Jordyn and Sawyer and it weighed heavy on our hearts but we knew they were under the watchful eye of the "NICU Angels" and that allowed us to rest for the night to recharge from next to no sleep for the past 96 hours. 

We also can not forget about the love and support of our friends. Oh my goodness... How lucky are the four of us to have all of you. Your out pouring of love and support is like nothing I have ever experienced before. You have all stood by Brett and I's side since day one and moved alongside through this entire process with us. The team at Royal Columbian have told us several times that they have never met such a loved family from such a large community of friends. So from the Mallard-Rancourts we thank you and feel so blessed to have you all in our lives now and forever. 

Lastly a special note to Jeremy, Raylene's husband. What an incredible man, he is what so many should aspire to be. A dedicated husband, father and friend. He's been so supportive since day one and has helped us all through this with his compassion and witty humour. He's always great at bring the lighter side out on any situation. During Raylene's Labor he's rubbing her feet, feeding her ice, giving her loving and encouraging words. When our kids were born he came in to the NICU shortly after we did, gave us a huge hug and said "Congrats Daddies". He looked down on our children with love in his eyes and we could see that special bond him and his family will forever have with our little babes. So Jeremy we thank you for everything you have done and for supporting us all ever step of the way.

Another post to follow on our last visit with the kids and a special post to Raylene and Lisa!

(Still running on little sleep, brain cannot process editing at the moment, sorry for the grammar lol)

Chat soon my friends.....