Thursday, 1 October 2015
My wise 16 month old twins
Over the last 16 months I have learnt a lot as a man, a parent and a husband..
Life has changed substantially in our home and we are experiencing a whole new world that we are so fortunate to be in... I know I say this often, but each stage has brought new adventure and new challenges.. Many exciting, but some emotionally and physically draining..
it's been a few months since I have written, my intentions have always to post once a month but it's been an incredible busy few months personally and professionally.. But here we go..
I had a recent discussion with friends about something I have been reflecting on for a while now.. Our "genetic link" to our children and how it does not mean as much to me as I thought it would..
When Brett and I first started our process we knew how badly we wanted kids and the thought of being genetically linked had its appeal and "importance".. But it was misguided... We had it in our heads that this link was what would build bonds and that "parental connection" every parent yearns for...
Thankfully we were wrong and I would like to share how thankful we are for being so wrong..
As most of you know, each of our kids has a genetic link to one of us.. A question many have wanted to ask, but have been scared to is "do you feel a stronger connection to your genetically linked child"... Fair question and a question I may have asked myself before having the opportunity to experience the unconditional love, both receiving and giving between a parent and their children..
While Brett and I have never officially found out "who's who's" because it's never been important to us... Our connection to both our children is something so pure.. Our love is not a "genetic love" but rather a "true pure love"... Our bound with each of our kids is something I am incredibly appreciative of.. Wether it's Sawyers need for Daddy snuggles when he's sick or Jordyn needing kisses on a "boo boo" to make her feel better. They want it from their Dads, genetic or not. Our kids have taught us something so valuable.. The love and bond a family builds together has nothing to do with genetics, but everything to do with the love that surrounds you..
As adults, experiences sometimes force you to form opinions of what you think things should look like, but is this how we should be living our lives?.. I think it's time we start learning something from our kids, because I have from mine and they are only 16 months old. The things they will continue to teach me, I look forward to and am grateful for. One of my biggest lessons I have learned is that we tend to over complicate the simplest of things.. Sometimes we just need to let be and allow the natural a progression of life, because these "opinions" can limit something beautiful from happening.. I thank you Jordyn and Sawyer for showing your Dads that love truly has no boundaries.. If we thought more like our children, we would not have issues like "legalizing same sex marriage", we would not have issues embracing differences and the world would be a much more beautiful place..
So let's not over complicate the simple things and live each day for today.. Drop what you think you know and make changes to make a better tomorrow. Life is so so much more enjoyable free of jaded opinions. I pledge to my children that I will not base my opinion on what I think I know from past experiences, I will not limit my life and I will be present for today.. This will in turn will make me a better friend, brother, son, and importantly a better father and husband.. I pride myself in being passionate in all these areas, but I can be better by making a very simple change..
Let's also chat about how the kids have been doing..
We recently just made it through our first real sickness and flu in our house with Jordyn and Sawyer... What seemed like it was never going to end, helped us grow as parents and as a family..
This time around Sawyer had the worst end of it all.. It started with my exciting usual rush home to see my kids and Brett turned into Sawyer greeting me with projectile vomit all over me as soon as I picked him up! And it was not a little bit, it was literally head to toe all over me.. Which was followed an evening of not eating drinking and dry heaving.. Those who have experienced a toddler dry heaving know how devastating and heart breaking this is..
Unfortunately the following days did not get better, Sawyer became inconsolable and refused to eat or drink.. He would not sleep and it resulted in no sleep for any of us in our house for over 24 hours. I spent the night sitting upright and holding him close to my chest as it was the only way he would not cry.. This followed a visit to the Drs office in the morning and a diagnosis of a severe ear infection, chest infection and early signs of dehydration.. We had a few hours to try and get some fluids in him or we would have had to take him to the hospital to get an IV... I am happy to report both Jordyn and Sawyer are much better and a hospital visit was avoided!
This experience, in hindsight is something all parents experience and are rather minor on the scale what many parents have to deal with.. But as a new parent who's never experienced any of this, it was really overwhelming and brought a lot of emotions forward.. Once again our amazing friends love, support and advice helped us navigate through this.. Thanks guys ❤️
What has also helped Brett and I through was learning to better co-parent together while in "crisis and no sleep mode". We had one night where anything we said to each other ended up leading to arguments and disagreements.. I have been really proud of how we have parented our children together until this night... We were both defensive and not in aggreance in what we thought was best.. We were on next to zero sleep, had a very sad sick little dude on our hands and a little lady vying for love and attention which the balance for that 24 hours was an extreme challenge in our house.. After a day of sleep we sat down and discussed how everything was handled and chatted about were we went right and were we went wrong and how we would ensure the "wrongs" would not happen again.. We have always been a team since day one, and lack of sleep and being completely lost on what to do showed were our cracks were.. It was very good for our relationship as it showed us what needs to be worked on.. Emotions can get the best of any couple and it showed us we are no different than any other parents out there..
Other then that, things have been amazing.. They are growing and developing at an incredible rate.. And wait for it... "They are the smartest kids I know" #typicalparentcomment ...
Sawyer has quickly gone from walking to running and Jordyn and still working on mastering the art of walking.. A friend of ours is a chiropractor she did a quick adjustment on one of her hips and we have seen a noticeable difference in just one adjustment.. With their new sense of freedom come no sense of privacy for anything in life for the forseable future lol... Going to the washroom will never be the same, I never expected to have an audience of three, two kids and the dog! Oh how things change with parenthood..
There comprehension and love for books has grown even more, which I absolutely love... There curiousity is at a an absolute high and they love to learn and experience new things.
Each day is a new adventure for us and I treasure each and every moment we share together.. I also mention my admiration and love for my children in every post, as it's important for me to share just how special they are and what an incredible impact they have made in our lives. I am excited for them to read this when they are older and see how proud their dads have been since day one and how many people from every corner of the world love and adore them too..
Well time to spend some nice R&R time with Brett, we have learnt to maximize on these moments when they come! Chat soon and I will try and not make it so long next time! I have lots to share, just need to find the time to share it!
Blog soon ❤️