10 ways I was a "better" parent before having kids

I was a much better parent before having kids...

What a true statement that all new parents realize after their first year navigating through new parenthood. 

I remember the days before becoming a parent and Brett and I would talk endlessly about what type of parent we will be when we were lucky enough to have children of our own. We had everything mapped out on our do's and don'ts of parenting, or so we thought... 

I very quickly learned that we may have been slightly... Ummmn... Unattentionally judgement... 

Here's a few...

1. "Oh our kids won't watch TV..." 

Lasted 8 months and the world of Yo GABA GABA entered our life and so did 23 glorious minutes to actually accomplish what should be the simplest of tasks, like the dishes.. 

2. "Our kids will never sleep in bed with us"

Lasted 2 months and a sick little Sawyer entered and it took us weeks upon weeks to get him adjusted back into his own room.. Sometimes Daddy sleep overs are the only way to a restful sleep, and I will take it! 

3. "We won't change anything in our house, our kids will adapt within our space... 

Haha this was a great one and last about hmm 30 seconds as soon as the kids started to crawl.. By the end of the day everything was shifted out of reach and has continued to gradually rise higher as their reach continues to extend.. 

4. I will never raise my voice at my children... 

This one we are still pretty good at sticking too as I strongly believe in clear communication, however sometimes that can be a challenge with 17 month old twins.. When you turn your back for two seconds and turn back around and see one twin scaling the side of your bookcase and the other is standing on the table "walking the line".. it's pretty hard not to shriek in fear/frustration.  

5. Speaking of communication.. I believed...wait for it..."that I had the ability to reason with a tantruming toddler..." 

I was clearly oblivious with "how hard can it be"... While our tantrums are not often, I have spent months learning and adapting to dealing with this one. Deep breaths and cool heads thankfully have prevailed.. But reasoning not so much.. When I figure this one out I will let you all know! 

6. "Our kids will always eat the healthiest organic food and eat the food we eat..."

We are still strong believers in organic and healthy alternatives for our children but we have been blessed with an extremely picky eater (Sawyer). We could only take so much of his flinging of expensive organic food all over the floor. After sweeping/mopping up hundreds of dollars in food off our floor we realized we needed to make some adjustments and have accepted that our kids will not always eat what we want them to eat.  We are pretty good at providing a healthy mix of what our kids need to grow big and strong, but sometime it's a waffles for dinner kind of night for Sawyer.. 

7. "Our kids will never play with our phones or electronics... 

This one we are still pretty firm on, however we have caved a couple times while out for dinner to allow us to have at least two bites of warm food.. Oh look kids somthing shiny *quickly shovels food into mouth*

8. "Our kids will always get along" 

As someone who has grown up with siblings I have no idea how I ever thought I could pull this one off lol. While our kids do love each other, they also are very much brother and sister and have displayed this in the occasional hair pulling, block in the face or pushing/pulling.. I have had to learn to to take a step back and allow our kids to try and resolve some of there issues without our constant intervention. When I did this, I noticed a slight shift but definetly not my "our kids will never fight". They are learning boundaries together and we always inforce positive playtime, it does not always happen and we have to accept that. 

9. "I will never look like "that" parent"

A day I can walk out of the house not covered in snot or food is a day I will celebrate.. On my days in the house I have my dad sweatpants that start off clean and end with food, puke, snot and whatever else my kids attach on to me. I call them my "coat of armour".. At the end of my day with them I am generally wearing what we ate and did throughout the day, however the kids are as clean as a whistle. Go figure... 

10. Lastly "we will never fight over how we will parent our children"

As you all know it was years in the making for Brett and I to have our family. We had endless night talking about what would parent like together. 

While thankfully this has mostly been true, however we have had nights of no sleep and exhaustion where our differences on the "proper resolution" have been polar opposites.. Sometimes not our proudest moments as parents and as a couple, but we have come to the realization that we are not perfect but we can always strive to be better together. 

What I have learned is that you never know what type of parent you will be until your in it.. Life changes so quickly and so does your perspective on how you live it.. I now live in the moment and allow my experience to unfold in front of me naturally , rather then me trying to control exactly how I think they should happen.. 

Moral of the story, don't beat yourself up for your "failures" of what you thought was once wrong.. As a parent our jobs are big and we must learn to adapt on a dime, so being stuck in the world of "this is how it should be" will not get any of us anywhere. 

Share below some of your realizations in parenting.. 

As always lots of love and blog again soon! 

Justin 

My wise 16 month old twins

Over the last 16 months I have learnt a lot as a man, a parent and a husband.. 

Life has changed substantially in our home and we are experiencing a whole new world that we are so fortunate to be in... I know I say this often, but each stage has brought new adventure and new challenges.. Many exciting, but some emotionally and physically draining.. 

it's been a few months since I have written, my intentions have always to post once a month but it's been an incredible busy few months personally and professionally.. But here we go.. 

I had a recent discussion with friends about something I have been reflecting on for a while now.. Our "genetic link" to our children and how it does not mean as much to me as I thought it would.. 

When Brett and I first started our process we  knew how badly we wanted kids and the thought of being genetically linked had its appeal and "importance".. But it was misguided... We had it in our heads that this link was what would build bonds and that "parental connection" every parent yearns for... 

Thankfully we were wrong and I would like to share how thankful we are for being so wrong..

As most of you know, each of our kids has a genetic link to one of us.. A question many have wanted to ask, but have been scared to is "do you feel a stronger connection to your genetically linked child"... Fair question and a question I may have asked myself before having the opportunity to experience the unconditional love, both receiving and giving between a parent and their children..

While Brett and I have never officially found out "who's who's" because it's never been important to us... Our connection to both our children is something so pure.. Our love is not a "genetic love" but rather a "true pure love"... Our bound with each of our kids is something I am incredibly appreciative of.. Wether it's Sawyers need for Daddy snuggles when he's sick or Jordyn needing kisses on a "boo boo" to make her feel better. They want it from their Dads, genetic or not. Our kids have taught us something so valuable.. The love and bond a family builds together has nothing to do with genetics, but everything to do with the love that surrounds you..

As adults, experiences sometimes force you to form opinions of what you think things should look like, but is this how we should be living our lives?.. I think it's time we start learning something from our kids, because I have from mine and they are only 16 months old. The things they will continue to teach me, I look forward to and am grateful for. One of my biggest lessons I have learned is that we tend to over complicate the simplest  of things.. Sometimes we just need to let be and allow the natural a progression of life, because these "opinions" can limit something beautiful from happening.. I thank you Jordyn and Sawyer for showing your Dads that love truly has no boundaries.. If we thought more like our children, we would not have issues like "legalizing same sex marriage", we would not have issues embracing differences and the world would be a much more beautiful place.. 

So let's not over complicate the simple things and live each day for today.. Drop what you think you know and make changes to make a better tomorrow. Life is so so much more enjoyable free of jaded opinions. I pledge to my children that I will not base my opinion on what I think I know from past experiences, I will not limit my life and I will be present for today..  This will in turn will make me a better friend, brother, son, and importantly a better father and husband.. I pride myself in being passionate in all these areas, but I can be better by making a very simple change..

Let's also chat about how the kids have been doing.. 

We recently just made it through our first real sickness and flu in our house with Jordyn and Sawyer... What seemed like it was never going to end, helped us grow as parents and as a family.. 

This time around Sawyer had the worst end of it all.. It started with my exciting usual rush home to see my kids and Brett turned into Sawyer greeting me with projectile vomit all over me as soon as I picked him up! And it was not a little bit, it was literally head to toe all over me.. Which was followed an evening of not eating drinking and dry heaving.. Those who have experienced a toddler dry heaving know how devastating and heart breaking this is.. 

Unfortunately the following days did not get better, Sawyer became inconsolable and refused to eat or drink.. He would not sleep and it resulted in no sleep for any of us in our house for over 24 hours. I spent the night sitting upright and holding him close to my chest as it was the only way he would not cry.. This followed a visit to the Drs office in the morning and a diagnosis of a severe ear infection, chest infection and early signs of dehydration.. We had a few hours to try and get some fluids in him or we would have had to take him to the hospital to get an IV... I am happy to report both Jordyn and Sawyer are much better and a hospital visit was avoided! 

This experience, in hindsight is something all parents experience and are rather minor on the scale what many parents have to deal with.. But as a new parent who's never experienced any of this, it was really overwhelming and brought a lot of emotions forward.. Once again our amazing friends love, support and advice helped us navigate through this.. Thanks guys ❤️

What has also helped Brett and I through was learning to better co-parent together while in "crisis and no sleep mode". We had one night where anything we said to each other ended up leading to arguments and disagreements.. I have been really proud of how we have parented our children together until this night... We were both defensive and not in aggreance in what we thought was best.. We were on next to zero sleep, had a very sad sick little dude on our hands and a little lady vying for love and attention which the balance for that 24 hours was an extreme challenge in our house.. After a day of sleep we sat down and discussed how everything was handled and chatted about were we went right and were we went wrong and how we would ensure the "wrongs" would not happen again.. We have always been a team since day one, and lack of sleep and being completely lost on what to do showed were our cracks were.. It was very good for our relationship as it showed us what needs to be worked on.. Emotions can get the best of any couple and it showed us we are no different than any other parents out there.. 

Other then that, things have been amazing.. They are growing and developing at an incredible rate.. And wait for it... "They are the smartest kids I know" #typicalparentcomment ... 

Sawyer has quickly gone from walking to running and Jordyn and still working on mastering the art of walking.. A friend of ours is a chiropractor she did a quick adjustment on one of her hips and we have seen a noticeable difference in just one adjustment.. With their new sense of freedom come no sense of privacy for anything in life for the forseable future lol... Going to the washroom will never be the same, I never expected to have an audience of three, two kids and the dog! Oh how things change with parenthood.. 

There comprehension and love for books has grown even more, which I absolutely love... There curiousity is at a an absolute high and they love to learn and experience new things. 

Each day is a new adventure for us and I treasure each and every moment we share together.. I also mention my admiration and love for my children in every post, as it's important for me to share just how special they are and what an incredible impact they have made in our lives. I am excited for them to read this when they are older and see how proud their dads have been since day one and how many people from every corner of the world love and adore them too.. 

Well time to spend some nice R&R time with Brett, we have learnt to maximize on these moments when they come! Chat soon and I will try and not make it so long next time! I have lots to share, just need to find the time to share it! 

Blog soon ❤️

Our first year together - Happy First Birthday Jordyn and Sawyer

Today you turn one my loves, but I also celebrate one year being your daddy and what an incredible ride it's been so far!

I often find I repeat my love and admiration for your both quite regularly, but it's challenging not to though.. I find myself regularly overcome with my emotions when thinking of you both..you inspire me to be a better man and fill my life with a unique and special love I didn't know was possible. You two are always on my mind in everything I do and that will never change.  

I knew from the moment I set eyes on you both that your impact on others would be incredibly special. Within hours of you being born we had a steady flow of visitors that traveled far and wide to come meet you both.. They all looked down in admiration in how love brought something so special into this world. As they gazed down upon you both you looked back with that same love and appreciation of those who make our lives so special. I remember the incredible team at RCH and ARH both saying "wow these are two loved little ones" as they saw the steady flow of loving friends and family that came to welcome you both into this world. 

I have several times laid in bed thinking about how lucky I am to have you both and your Dad. Your adorable smiling little faces, your silly little giggles and your playful spirit keeps me on my toes and feeling so complete. I love everything about you both, even our not so great moments as they have lead to growth in us all. We as a family continue to evolve and love each other for who we are, even at the tender age of one. 

In our first year together as a family we have done so much! We hiked and explored the most western parts of Canada together at the age of four months, made fun trips up to the okanagon to visit your adoring family, learned to stand, say Dad and Dada and most recently Sawyer you have taken your first steps! You both have built beautiful and very special bonds with so many far and near. We as a family have been able to inspire couples just like your daddies to follow their dreams to start families of their own.. Our story is so special as it was built on a foundation of love. 

With all great things come challenges that no one can get away from.. Everything from your first falls, first fevers and colds, to just plain trying to figure out this big new world. Every tear you shed breaks my heart, but warms when Daddy snuggles can turn those tears around to smiles and giggles. The future will come with its own unique challenges but please always remember how special you both are and how much your both loved by not only us but our incredible family, friends and your forever "Army of Aunties". 

So today I celebrate you both and I thank you for making my life so complete. I thank you for not only impacting our lives in such a beautiful special way but also the thousands of people around the world that have grown to love and adore you both. You reach so many through the special moments we share as a family. You are loved by many and I as your daddy will always ensure this love is shared and appreciated. 

I will hold tight to every memory we create together with excitement for what each day will bring. I will always remember the tickle monster moments, me sleeping on the floor of your room just so you knew I was there, to how silly we become when it's just the four of us.. As the years go by and we all get older, one thing will always be the same.. You Sawyer and Jordyn will always be my baby boy and baby girl..

Happy First Birthday Jordyn and Sawyer, my love for you is unmeasurable and I am so excited for the journey we will continue to travel together as a family. 

Love always and forever,

Your Daddy J

Infertility exists in all types of families

We are 1 in 6... 

Did you know that 1 in 6 Canadian couples struggle with some sort of infertility related issues. To man suffer silently, let's change this and create awareness and support for those who need it more. 

I remember early on in life my dreams and desires to be a dad and as I became older and more accepting of the fact that I was gay, these feelings very quickly became clouded in doubt.  My biggest struggle with coming out was the perception in my mind that I would never be a father.  It was something that weighed heavy on my heart more than anything I knew possible.  My desire to be a father was no longer an option based on my sexual orientation, or so I thought.

When most discuss infertility they will quickly connect their mind to heterosexual couples that have unfortunately been dealt with this very real problem. Perhaps it's individualized or as a couple...

What many may not think about is that infertility is not only present in heterosexual relationships, it's a very real issue in many different types of family dynamics, from same sex relationships to single men or single woman wanting to start families of their own. This is where Brett, my loving devoted partner and I fall within...Canada's 1 in 6. 

While Brett and I do not have any infertility issues individually, we unfortunately do as a couple.  Being in a same sex relationship and basic science unfortunately have made us infertile as a couple and without today's modern medical advancements, fatherhood would be unattainable for us. 

So here we have two loving committed people who want nothing more than to love and nurture a child and provide a life filled with the purest form of love, compassion and joy but are not able to, based on sexual orientation. Being as determined as I am and knowing my sexuality could not be changed...I realized that I could, however, change my outlook on ways of creating a family. 

I became inspired when we met our now very close friends Mark and Kyle, who created their family through surrogacy.  As I sat back and watched their pure joy of fatherhood,  it pushed me even further to find a way to create this very special bond between father and child in our lives.  Seeing their family gave me hope and showed me that, yes, in fact we as a same sex couple can share the same joy as our heterosexual couple counterparts.  I promised myself that once we had a family of our own I would do my upmost to inspire and support other couples and perspective parents, as Mark and Kyle did for us. 

Our journey to parenthood started with two very special ladies who wanted us to share the joys of parenthood as much as we wanted it for ourselves.  One being our surrogate, Raylene and the other our egg donor, Lisa.  Between the four of us, we would be able to overcome our infertility as a couple as they individually carried the missing pieces needed for us to create our family.  We started with Lisa and the egg retrieval process. This loving friend went through ten days of injections followed by the retrieval of 16 eggs in which 15 were fertilized 7 by me and 8 by my partner Brett. 

I remember like it was yesterday the feeling as each second, minute, hour and day that passed by from the moment the retrieval and fertilization took place.  It was full of excitement, yet filled with fear and questions.  What if it does not work, what if they don't become viable embryos, what if, what if, what if.... We went from 15 fertilized eggs to only 3 strong viable embryos in 5 days, which was terrifying within itself.  Our doubts came to the forefront as we became riddled with the fear of this not working.

Then came the long awaited transfer date... We transferred two perfect little fresh embryos, one from me and one from my partner and froze our remaining embryo. The feeling of "putting all our eggs in one basket" become very real at that very moment.  I remember the feeling of seeing these little embryos on the screen and thinking to myself, there's what love has created and the realization that I was now within reach of fatherhood.  As we left the clinic after our transfer, Raylene said to us, I am pregnant and I am sure of it and you WILL be Daddies...

34 weeks and 3 days later we were blessed to welcome our son Sawyer and daughter Jordyn into this world. They are a true product of two loving people who wanted nothing more than to be their Daddies. This became a reality with the assistance of their two loving "Aunties" and our incredible team of fertility professionals. Through one successful round of IVF, that family I so desired was finally here.  With my heartfelt desire of a family complete, I had an even stronger connection to this process and the emotional toll it takes on you as an individual and together as a couple. While our transfer was successful and resulted in the birth of our twins, this outcome does not happen for all as quickly as it did for us.

When sharing our story, I often will say it was love and science that helped create our family. Without the medical advancements that we all have access to today, many would feel the heartache of infertility, in whichever form it may come. 

Through our process, we found infertility is more common than we once thought and even present in our close social network of friends.  Many fear talking about it as the emotional and perceived social perception can be too much for some to deal with.  I remember sitting in our fertility clinic and looking around at all the other couples that were there for the same reason as us...to start a family.  I recall as I looked around and thought, "I would never have guessed they would need help" and then quickly realized that infertility does not have a specific face, a gender, nor does it have a sexual orientation.  Infertility comes in many different forms and circumstances, yet effects us all the same.  In years past, many of us would have suffered silently.  Thankfully, we no longer need to as there is incredible support, resources and medical advancements that are now available to us...Canada's 1 in 6.

Read more stories about other Canadian families and there path to parenthood. 

http://iaac.ca/en/share-your-story

my open letter to our Surrogate and prospective Surrogates..

Dreams of little foot steps running through our home, forever leaving daily imprints in our hearts through loving experiences and memories created. 

Would have stayed a dream if it was not for you.. My life without you would have been with a void in my heart that could not be mended by anything but the opportunity of parenthood. Your love and compassion for the beautiful thing called family is such a natural thing that comes to you and it's so apparent by your selfless sacrifice you made to help us live our dream. 

Your loving gesture does not stop with us.. You have made us Daddies, but you have also made our parents grandparents, our sisters aunties, my brother an uncle, our nieces and nephews cousins.. You have forever impacted the lives of so many and created this circle of love so strong it can never be broken. All of this, because of you. 

You have given life to our children who get to experience this unconditional love that they deserve to feel and live each and everyday. All of this is because of you.. 

We experienced so much together during the time you carried our children.. From the moment of our first positive pregnancy test, our first ultrasound, the first time our baby's kicked to their arrival into this world. What made you even more special was these moments we shared together, you made them our moments as a couple and as joyful expecting parents. Although we could clearly not carry our children, you kept us so in tune and involved every step of the way we never missed a thing. All of these moments we experienced and continue to experience are because of you. 

Some say they were born to parent. I am one of those people.. My heart, my mind and my desire was always to be a Daddy one day.. The thought of this not happening was a heart wrenching thought too unbearable to accept. This was something I unfortunately would have had to accept if not for you and I am so grateful for what you have done for us. 

I wake up everyday next to my husband with the warmth in both our hearts as we feel so complete. I get to be silly, loving and playful each and everyday with my children. I get to experience new "firsts" every single day. I get to love, support, encourage and inspire our children to do great things in this world..Our children were given life, they are given the chance to create life and experience the love you have helped us live each and every day.. All of this, is because of you. 

I close this post to all surrogates and anyone who is considering being a surrogate. 

What a gift.. Words will never be able to explain the forever impact you will make on so many lives. Know that what you are doing warms the hearts of everyone around you and everyone connected to your intended parents. Unfortunately their are so many different couples unable to create their families without assistance. So many of us would not experience the joy of parenthood without you. I give you my utmost admiration for the sacrifices you make to help couples like us create a family of our own. Know your gift will never be forgotten and you will forever be imprinted in the hearts of many. 

You bring life, love, joy and the utmost happiness. I thank you on behalf of all all IP's for your love and commitment to us all. 

Heartfelt Love,

Justin 

**in the coming weeks I will be sharing the loving impact of egg donors and their vital link in the creation of our family and many like ours. Surrogacy and egg donation are so special they deserve there own posts"

Letter to my Son and Daughter

Sawyer and Jordyn,

Wow where has the past almost 13 months gone.. The way you have both impacted this world is nothing short of amazing. 

You are both so special to your Dad and I, words can not even explain it. Your special story of how love, family and friends brought you into this world, has forever put a special place in so many hearts. 

You my loves represent the purest form of love possible..

Your Dad and I met five years before you were born and it was during our first date we talked about how badly we both wanted children one day. At the time we were not sure if we could make it happen, but we both knew we wanted to be your Daddies. It was love at first sight for your Dad and I. Everything we had ever wanted, we found in each other. 

It was not easy to start a family for your Dad and I. It took a few years, but we wanted you both so much that we were willing to sacrifice it all for the chance to be your Daddies. After a few years passed, everything aligned for us. It took two very special ladies to help bring you into our lives. Your Aunty Raylene carried you until the beautiful day you were both born. Always know the specialness that comes from your Aunty Raylene and your Aunty Lisa, as our family would not be complete without their love for your Daddies, and now their love for both of you. 

From time to time I am going to write you little notes for you to read when you're older. I will share special moments we have shared and the ways you make your Dad and I so happy. You two are special beyond words, always remember that.

Sawyer,

 

Hello my little man, how much you have grown in the past year. I wanted to take a moment and tell you how special you are and how you have enriched the lives of me, your Dad and all the ones that love you so dearly. 

Your start in this world was a bit of a challenge. Being born six weeks premature I watched with fear as you struggled to breath. Your entrance into this world was one of the most special, yet scariest moments of my life. You were born with a pneumothorax and “Wet Lung," which is a slight tear in the lining of your lung and retention of fluid. With many sleepless nights you showed your Daddies how strong you were and pushed through with the love and support of the nurses and respiratory therapists at Royal Columbia Hospital.

 

Two weeks later your sister was ready to come home but you were not quite ready, perhaps it was all of your beautiful nurses, but you wanted to stay a little longer.

It was Father's Day when we had to leave you behind by yourself which broke our hearts. We spent the day with you and your sister, but the time came when we had to leave, without you by our side. With tears and heartache we left but knew you were only days away from coming home.

Your Daddy Brett came every single day with your Sister Jordyn and stayed by your side day and night. I rushed over as soon as I was off work for the day to get in a late night feeding and snuggle before we had to leave you once again.

One week later you were stronger and eating on your own so the Doctors gave us the news we were desperate to hear: "You can take your son home today". Yay! Finally! All together at last to start our family in the loving home we had created for you and your sister!

From the time you came home you simply amazed us with your affection, love and silly personality. With a smile that can melt a million hearts, to your sweet little giggle, you have created a special "Sawyer" section in everyone's heart that meets you.

Looking at you today I would never guess you had so many struggles coming into this world..You are strong, smart, charming and a funny little man.

I would like to share with you some special things I love about you:

- I LOVE your larger than life full face smile. Sometimes my days are harder than others and with one look at you all those worries go away.

 

- I LOVE your belly giggle. Once you get going you can feel it in your entire body and it's the cutest thing ever!

 

-I LOVE your sense of adventure! It can be tiring at times chasing you around the house but I can see how much joy it brings you experiencing new things each and every day.

 

- I LOVE how special you make me feel with just one look. With the raise of an eyebrow, and your million dollar smile, you encompass nothing but love for me, your dad and your sister.

 

- I LOVE that you LOVE my sweet dance moves and singing skills. You will get older one day and realize they are equally awful, but today I am your singing and dancing idol.

 

- I LOVE that you allow me to be a kid again, you allow me to be silly and remind me not to care what people might think. In my silliness, I know I brighten your day and that makes every moment worth it.

 

My promise to you Sawyer is to always be by your side and to love and support you forever. I promise to show you what makes this world so special and teach you to be kind, loving and accepting to everyone. I will always be behind you with every decision you make. I will be with you through your ups and downs. I will help you through your failures and celebrate your successes, for you are destined for great things.

You, my son, will continue to impact this world in a beautiful way, as you have been, without even knowing it.

Love you always and forever, 

Daddy J

Jordyn,

 

My sweet little girl. I remember the first moment the Doctors walked down the hallways with you and your brother. The first thing that came out of my mouth was "do we have a girl too?” Knowing you now, I can see why we had such a difficult time getting 100% confirmation of your sex during our ultrasounds. You just wanted to keep a little mystery and surprise for your Daddies. I was praying we would be lucky enough to have a sweet little girl too, and along you came by your brothers side!

You, my little sweet pea, came into this world strong and from your first moments I saw your beautiful gentle heart and the special love you will share with this world.

Within 24 hours you, our little five pound sweet pea, was breathing 100% on your own. As your brother struggled, our contact with him was unfortunately limited, but it gave your Dad and I some very special moments with you. We had all are parental firsts with you, from feeding, diaper changes, to bath time and snuggles. You helped mould our hearts and minds to be the loving parents we are today.

Your strength and determination allowed you to come home one week before your brother. I remember our first night together. It was our first Father's Day, and what a special gift to bring you home on the day that celebrates Daddies. We went to Red Robins for dinner; gone are the days of fancy restaurants. Now are the days of family dinning. I remember we could not take our eyes off of you. You stole our hearts with ever peep, wiggle and smile you made.

Our first night at home with you was much like most new parents. We slept on the couch, me, your Daddy and your puppy Nikayla. You slept in a bassinet right beside us and every noise you made, your Dad, Nikayla and I stared down on you to make sure you were okay. Needless to say, our first few nights none of us really slept. Between us being worried new parents to you being away from your brother for the first time, we each had our own challenges. 

 You, from a very early age had a sense of independence. I am not sure if this was your way of showing us that it was okay that your brother needed some extra attention, but if it was, I thank you for that.

I would like to share with you some special things I love about you:

 

- I LOVE being the one to come and get you in the morning. As I sneak into your room, you lift your head and give me the biggest smile a sweet little girl can give. Once I pick you up you wrap your arms around my neck and give me the biggest squeeze your little one year old arms can give. You make me feel so special and loved every morning in that moment we share.

 

- I LOVE that you love the tickle monster as much I love being your tickle monster. Your excitement and giggles warms our home with so much love.

 

- I LOVE your sense of being. You seem to be so in touch with everything around you. I often share with people how my sweet little girl is ten steps ahead of all of us.

 

- I LOVE that you think I am the funniest person you know. With the right look on my face I can fill our days with endless giggles.

 

- I LOVE opening the front door when I get home and being greeted with a scream of excitement when your Dad says “Daddy’s home.” You will never know how special that makes me feel after a long day of work.

 

- I LOVE your determination to never give up. While your Brother is stronger at the moment, you’re not willing to let that stop you from doing anything he does. With wobbly legs you stand up right beside your brother with your sweet little smile of satisfaction — “I can do this too Daddy.”

 

My promise to you, my sweet girl, is very similar to your brother Sawyer. I promise to show you love, compassion and fill your life with support for anything you want to do. I promise I will be by your side through all of life's ups and downs and be there to celebrate your many exciting milestones and successes. I promise to always remind you how special you are to me and everyone around you. I promise you, you will always be Daddies little girl.

You my sweet pea have made our world a better place, from our early morning snuggles to the beautiful things you will accomplish over time. Your future is bright my love, and your Daddies and Brother will forever love and support our sweet little girl.

Love always and forever,

Daddy J