Today we heard your heartbeat...

Today was the long awaited ultrasound that we have all been waiting for. It was quite a morning as every thought of what could be was rushing through all of our heads. We were all hoping for the best but fearing for the worst and everything in between.

As we are getting ready Brett and I meet each other at the bottom of the stairs and quickly realize that we are wearing the same clothes! Dark blue jeans with gray and white stripped shirts lol… Was this a sign? What ever it was it was a funny way to kick started our day with a good laugh. 

As we are driving out to Vancouver for our appointment we are chatting about the last couple days that have lead to some unfortunate fears. Raylene has had some spotting in the last couple days that made all our minds go crazy. We once again hopped on the Internet searching for answers and found everything from this is a sign of twins to the scariest of conclusions. We all decided to stop searching for answers and trust that we are deserving parents and that everything was going to be ok.

We pull into the underground parking lot and I have once again those familiar feelings but x100… My heart was racing so much I could have almost passed out.  By the time we get upstairs into the waiting area I can't stay still.. I go from sitting in the chair, to sitting on the ground to walking around the lobby all while my mind is racing and praying. I attempt to read a magazine but all I see is images on the pages but can't take in the words. My mind is overcome with the prospect of us being dads. Our heart, our soul, our mind want this so bad and we don't want any results that could interfere with that becoming a reality. 

Shortly after arriving we got called in to the ultrasound room. As we sit and wait it was the first time that day I felt calm and at peace. I knew at that very moment that everything was going to be ok even before we got the exciting news…Call it a sense, call it whatever you want but it was truly special for me to feel what I feeling. 

As Dr Taylor starts the ultrasound she says there’s your TWINS! We all stay quite and don't say a word.. She had to say it twice for us to actually comprehend this exciting news! As all our eyes welled up including Dr Taylor's we all hear not only one strong healthy heart beat but we hear two. Raylene is carrying two fraternal twins which is so exciting because that means both embryos took.

This has been such a long road to get to this point but hearing those heart beats made every second of all the ups and down worth it. As we all sit in the room in aww we are mesmerized by each beat of each of their beautiful hearts. I am so excited to watch them grow and develop into perfect little loving siblings and additions to our family.

Dr Taylor shared her excitement with us and we truly knew it was coming from the heart. This team has been so genuine and supportive since day one and I am so happy I have them to help us and guild us through this journey.

The support we have received over the last two years has been endless and we could not be blessed with better friends and family. Right from late last night to early this morning a steady flow of text messages came through sending us thoughts and prayers for our big day. we are blessed to have all of you and you have no idea what an incredible impact you have had on our lives and we love and thank you for that.

I will end this entry with a note to our little "Baby A" and "Baby B"

"Today we heard your hearts beat little ones and it made your daddies so proud. It was as if our heart were all in sync. We have wanted you for so long and today we were reassured you were growing and staying strong. We cant wait to hold you, love you and share you to the world. Rest well our little ones, your daddies can't wait to meet you. "

5 weeks pregnant and counting..

We had another blood test today and the nerves of waiting for the results definitely do not get easier then the first.

I mentioned in a previous post that Raylenes HCG numbers were high with her first blood test. They were 835 and that was 12 days past our 5 day blastocyst transfer of our two perfect little embryos. Today which would be 20 days past her numbers shot upto 20130 which is a great strong number that we are so excited about!

For those of you reading this that have gone through ivf or going through ivf we can all connect on scouring the internet looking for answers and reassurance. The three of us have gone through this and still do despite our better judgement. It can be very calming to connect with others in similar situations and it can also be scary if you are not experiencing what others are.

I have learnt very quickly that you must take this all in with a grain of salt... Everyone's process will be different and we can not believe everything we read on the internet.. If I did I would be convinced we were pregnant with quadruplets! 

I have had some recent conversations with my dear friends at Olive in the last week and I have expressed my excitement and concerns with such high numbers and they have reassured me these are great healthy numbers and it could be the result of the embryo attaching right away or could be the exciting prospect of more then one baby!

On the note of mulitples.. It's a very exciting thought and we have always wanted two children. Since we can not conceive on our own, having two at once could potentially be a lot easier! But now the thought of what if there is more then two! Even if it's twins I mentioned to Brett we just might have to trade our Honda Accord in for a nice new Honda Odyssey, he laughs and quickly dismisses the idea but in the back of my mind I don't think he really knows how much stuff comes along with one baby let alone two..well only time will tell.. Say some prayers for us between now and the 23rd for a nice strong healthy Heartbeat/s!

Does my dog know we're pregnant?

Have you ever wondered just how intuitive your pets are? I saw something so beautiful and special tonight that I just have to share with you all..

Most of you know or have heard about Nikayla... She is one incredibly special dog that always knows how to turn a bad day into a good one..

Well today was not a bad day, but Nikayla made us all share a moment we will never forget.. Raylene came over to watch a movie tonight with Lucy, Brett and I. Shortly into the movie Nikayla came up to Raylenes side and started staring at her, she seemed to be intrigued and curious about her.. Nikayla has seen Raylene several time before so she was no one new to her.. She then hoped up next her on the couch, wrapped her arms around Raylenes belly and placed her head gently down on her belly while looking at Brett and I with loving eyes.

It was as if she was letting us know that she knows and will love and protect this new little addition to our family.. 

As we sit there in awe I remembered to late that Raylene is allergic to dogs and was starting to break out in hives! Raylene let her sit there while the hives multiplied to allow us all to enjoy this moment not knowing what was happening to her.. I quickly realized and got Nikayla off of her, but she refused to leave Raylenes side and layed on the floor next to her..

I would call that pretty special. Thank you Nikayla for showing us your excited and ok with our new addition and Thank you Raylene for despite your allergy to allow Nikayla her moment to show us all this. 

Day twelve after transfer

Blood test day has finally arrived and this has been a day we have all be excited and nervous for. After taking a few home pregnancy tests all with positive results and Raylene have early symptoms we are feeling pretty confident, but know nothing is for sure.

Raylene and I have set up with our friend Nina to take her blood first thing in the morning to allow for us to get the results same day. Nina was able to get us to sign a waiver which allowed her to disclose our results to us once they come in.

Drum Roll please.......It was a BFP, its official we are pregnant! We have now hit another major milestone and have another one around the corner with our first Ultrasound. This will be to see our little ones heart beat and see if there is more then one. Raylenes HCG numbers where quite high for this point of her pregnancy, so there is that possibility there could be more then one! We will see what happens and will be happy with one or two.. All we want is a healthy baby in the end. So excited right now, will keep you updated on the next stage!

Day eight after transfer

Oh what a day... Its funny how I have now started associating every aspect of my life with fatherhood... Today my very close friends Paul and Cheri had a beautiful precious baby girl. I stopped by for a quick visit, dropped off a gift and had a chance to hold little Macie. As soon as I walked into there room I was automatically greeted by two gleaming "New" parents. I could feel there hearts filled with love and appreciation for there healthy perfect little girl they together brought into this world. As I am holding her I look at her adorable little innocent face and imagine in nine months this will be me holding my perfect little angel. I am so happy for Paul and Cheri and the new addition to there family, it really shows me what I yearn for so bad and hope to be as lucky as the two of them and have a warm loving home filled with children of our own...

Our BFF Nina came over today and we carved pumpkins, it was a lot of fun. As we are carving pumpkins I am thinking to myself and looking at our big kitchen table and visualizing our kids all at the table with us carving pumpkins as family, sharing stories, laughing and enjoying each others company.

I also helped my little brother move to chilliwack today, and again started thinking.... Is this what moving my son for the first time is going to feel like? Its so strange these feelings I have been having lately, but I know its for a reason and will embrace them until i get the chance to live them for real.

Raylene took another Home pregnancy test today too! Its still a positive. She took one of those digital first response ones and it stated she was 3 weeks pregnant which is pretty much where she would be with a successful transfer. This is incredibly exciting and still can not wait for blood test and first ultrasound to hear our little one/s heartbeat/s! Keep you posted!

Day seven after transfer

The wait has been killing us, are we pregnant, are we not, will we have to do this all over again have been running through all our minds. Raylene and I have had lots of chats as Brett, her and I share all the blog posts of symptoms and story's we have been reading online. I now know the feeling that expecting parents go through as this initial 2 week wait has been extremely difficult.

So with all that said about how anxious we have all been I get a text from Raylene tonight as I am leaving work and she said she needs to see us and wanted to come over. At that moment so many things are crossing my mind from the very best to the very worst and have feelings of do I want to know, can I handle the news she might be sharing?

I pull into our driveway and Raylene is just pulling in behind me and her Husband is with her. This could mean so many things, but lets stay calm and keep breathing.. We walk into the kitchen and with a little smirk on her face she drops a home pregnancy test on our counter and says its looking like your going to be daddy's! Heart racing, mind shuts down I turn to Brett and give him the biggest hug and have this exciting sense of where our future is about to go.

We now have two new milestones to anxiously wait for! First comes our blood test which will solidify our home pregnancy test then comes our ultrasound to hear our baby or babies heart beat/s!

Day two after transfer

Day two of the now longest wait of my life, Raylene msgs me and lets me know that shes feeling some pregnancy symptoms already. This obviously makes us incredibly excited, but we all must remain realistic to the fact that there is a possibility that this may not work. I find myself asking the strangest questions now, "How do you boobs feel today", "Having the sudden urge to pee more frequently", "Feeling more tired then usual" oh and we can forget " Have you felt like puking today". This is going to be a long two weeks for us all. Raylene's been such a great sport about all of this and we have had several moments of laughing till tears are running down our faces. We really have all been perfectly matched for this all to happen perfectly.