Today we heard your heartbeat...

Today was the long awaited ultrasound that we have all been waiting for. It was quite a morning as every thought of what could be was rushing through all of our heads. We were all hoping for the best but fearing for the worst and everything in between.

As we are getting ready Brett and I meet each other at the bottom of the stairs and quickly realize that we are wearing the same clothes! Dark blue jeans with gray and white stripped shirts lol… Was this a sign? What ever it was it was a funny way to kick started our day with a good laugh. 

As we are driving out to Vancouver for our appointment we are chatting about the last couple days that have lead to some unfortunate fears. Raylene has had some spotting in the last couple days that made all our minds go crazy. We once again hopped on the Internet searching for answers and found everything from this is a sign of twins to the scariest of conclusions. We all decided to stop searching for answers and trust that we are deserving parents and that everything was going to be ok.

We pull into the underground parking lot and I have once again those familiar feelings but x100… My heart was racing so much I could have almost passed out.  By the time we get upstairs into the waiting area I can't stay still.. I go from sitting in the chair, to sitting on the ground to walking around the lobby all while my mind is racing and praying. I attempt to read a magazine but all I see is images on the pages but can't take in the words. My mind is overcome with the prospect of us being dads. Our heart, our soul, our mind want this so bad and we don't want any results that could interfere with that becoming a reality. 

Shortly after arriving we got called in to the ultrasound room. As we sit and wait it was the first time that day I felt calm and at peace. I knew at that very moment that everything was going to be ok even before we got the exciting news…Call it a sense, call it whatever you want but it was truly special for me to feel what I feeling. 

As Dr Taylor starts the ultrasound she says there’s your TWINS! We all stay quite and don't say a word.. She had to say it twice for us to actually comprehend this exciting news! As all our eyes welled up including Dr Taylor's we all hear not only one strong healthy heart beat but we hear two. Raylene is carrying two fraternal twins which is so exciting because that means both embryos took.

This has been such a long road to get to this point but hearing those heart beats made every second of all the ups and down worth it. As we all sit in the room in aww we are mesmerized by each beat of each of their beautiful hearts. I am so excited to watch them grow and develop into perfect little loving siblings and additions to our family.

Dr Taylor shared her excitement with us and we truly knew it was coming from the heart. This team has been so genuine and supportive since day one and I am so happy I have them to help us and guild us through this journey.

The support we have received over the last two years has been endless and we could not be blessed with better friends and family. Right from late last night to early this morning a steady flow of text messages came through sending us thoughts and prayers for our big day. we are blessed to have all of you and you have no idea what an incredible impact you have had on our lives and we love and thank you for that.

I will end this entry with a note to our little "Baby A" and "Baby B"

"Today we heard your hearts beat little ones and it made your daddies so proud. It was as if our heart were all in sync. We have wanted you for so long and today we were reassured you were growing and staying strong. We cant wait to hold you, love you and share you to the world. Rest well our little ones, your daddies can't wait to meet you. "

5 weeks pregnant and counting..

We had another blood test today and the nerves of waiting for the results definitely do not get easier then the first.

I mentioned in a previous post that Raylenes HCG numbers were high with her first blood test. They were 835 and that was 12 days past our 5 day blastocyst transfer of our two perfect little embryos. Today which would be 20 days past her numbers shot upto 20130 which is a great strong number that we are so excited about!

For those of you reading this that have gone through ivf or going through ivf we can all connect on scouring the internet looking for answers and reassurance. The three of us have gone through this and still do despite our better judgement. It can be very calming to connect with others in similar situations and it can also be scary if you are not experiencing what others are.

I have learnt very quickly that you must take this all in with a grain of salt... Everyone's process will be different and we can not believe everything we read on the internet.. If I did I would be convinced we were pregnant with quadruplets! 

I have had some recent conversations with my dear friends at Olive in the last week and I have expressed my excitement and concerns with such high numbers and they have reassured me these are great healthy numbers and it could be the result of the embryo attaching right away or could be the exciting prospect of more then one baby!

On the note of mulitples.. It's a very exciting thought and we have always wanted two children. Since we can not conceive on our own, having two at once could potentially be a lot easier! But now the thought of what if there is more then two! Even if it's twins I mentioned to Brett we just might have to trade our Honda Accord in for a nice new Honda Odyssey, he laughs and quickly dismisses the idea but in the back of my mind I don't think he really knows how much stuff comes along with one baby let alone two..well only time will tell.. Say some prayers for us between now and the 23rd for a nice strong healthy Heartbeat/s!

Does my dog know we're pregnant?

Have you ever wondered just how intuitive your pets are? I saw something so beautiful and special tonight that I just have to share with you all..

Most of you know or have heard about Nikayla... She is one incredibly special dog that always knows how to turn a bad day into a good one..

Well today was not a bad day, but Nikayla made us all share a moment we will never forget.. Raylene came over to watch a movie tonight with Lucy, Brett and I. Shortly into the movie Nikayla came up to Raylenes side and started staring at her, she seemed to be intrigued and curious about her.. Nikayla has seen Raylene several time before so she was no one new to her.. She then hoped up next her on the couch, wrapped her arms around Raylenes belly and placed her head gently down on her belly while looking at Brett and I with loving eyes.

It was as if she was letting us know that she knows and will love and protect this new little addition to our family.. 

As we sit there in awe I remembered to late that Raylene is allergic to dogs and was starting to break out in hives! Raylene let her sit there while the hives multiplied to allow us all to enjoy this moment not knowing what was happening to her.. I quickly realized and got Nikayla off of her, but she refused to leave Raylenes side and layed on the floor next to her..

I would call that pretty special. Thank you Nikayla for showing us your excited and ok with our new addition and Thank you Raylene for despite your allergy to allow Nikayla her moment to show us all this. 

Day twelve after transfer

Blood test day has finally arrived and this has been a day we have all be excited and nervous for. After taking a few home pregnancy tests all with positive results and Raylene have early symptoms we are feeling pretty confident, but know nothing is for sure.

Raylene and I have set up with our friend Nina to take her blood first thing in the morning to allow for us to get the results same day. Nina was able to get us to sign a waiver which allowed her to disclose our results to us once they come in.

Drum Roll please.......It was a BFP, its official we are pregnant! We have now hit another major milestone and have another one around the corner with our first Ultrasound. This will be to see our little ones heart beat and see if there is more then one. Raylenes HCG numbers where quite high for this point of her pregnancy, so there is that possibility there could be more then one! We will see what happens and will be happy with one or two.. All we want is a healthy baby in the end. So excited right now, will keep you updated on the next stage!

Day eight after transfer

Oh what a day... Its funny how I have now started associating every aspect of my life with fatherhood... Today my very close friends Paul and Cheri had a beautiful precious baby girl. I stopped by for a quick visit, dropped off a gift and had a chance to hold little Macie. As soon as I walked into there room I was automatically greeted by two gleaming "New" parents. I could feel there hearts filled with love and appreciation for there healthy perfect little girl they together brought into this world. As I am holding her I look at her adorable little innocent face and imagine in nine months this will be me holding my perfect little angel. I am so happy for Paul and Cheri and the new addition to there family, it really shows me what I yearn for so bad and hope to be as lucky as the two of them and have a warm loving home filled with children of our own...

Our BFF Nina came over today and we carved pumpkins, it was a lot of fun. As we are carving pumpkins I am thinking to myself and looking at our big kitchen table and visualizing our kids all at the table with us carving pumpkins as family, sharing stories, laughing and enjoying each others company.

I also helped my little brother move to chilliwack today, and again started thinking.... Is this what moving my son for the first time is going to feel like? Its so strange these feelings I have been having lately, but I know its for a reason and will embrace them until i get the chance to live them for real.

Raylene took another Home pregnancy test today too! Its still a positive. She took one of those digital first response ones and it stated she was 3 weeks pregnant which is pretty much where she would be with a successful transfer. This is incredibly exciting and still can not wait for blood test and first ultrasound to hear our little one/s heartbeat/s! Keep you posted!

Day seven after transfer

The wait has been killing us, are we pregnant, are we not, will we have to do this all over again have been running through all our minds. Raylene and I have had lots of chats as Brett, her and I share all the blog posts of symptoms and story's we have been reading online. I now know the feeling that expecting parents go through as this initial 2 week wait has been extremely difficult.

So with all that said about how anxious we have all been I get a text from Raylene tonight as I am leaving work and she said she needs to see us and wanted to come over. At that moment so many things are crossing my mind from the very best to the very worst and have feelings of do I want to know, can I handle the news she might be sharing?

I pull into our driveway and Raylene is just pulling in behind me and her Husband is with her. This could mean so many things, but lets stay calm and keep breathing.. We walk into the kitchen and with a little smirk on her face she drops a home pregnancy test on our counter and says its looking like your going to be daddy's! Heart racing, mind shuts down I turn to Brett and give him the biggest hug and have this exciting sense of where our future is about to go.

We now have two new milestones to anxiously wait for! First comes our blood test which will solidify our home pregnancy test then comes our ultrasound to hear our baby or babies heart beat/s!

Day two after transfer

Day two of the now longest wait of my life, Raylene msgs me and lets me know that shes feeling some pregnancy symptoms already. This obviously makes us incredibly excited, but we all must remain realistic to the fact that there is a possibility that this may not work. I find myself asking the strangest questions now, "How do you boobs feel today", "Having the sudden urge to pee more frequently", "Feeling more tired then usual" oh and we can forget " Have you felt like puking today". This is going to be a long two weeks for us all. Raylene's been such a great sport about all of this and we have had several moments of laughing till tears are running down our faces. We really have all been perfectly matched for this all to happen perfectly.

Day One after transfer

Day one after transfer I get the call from Olive Fertility Clinic and they unfortunately advise me that none of the remaining embryos made it to the stage they needed to be for freezing. This was very upsetting for us both as we wanted to have a "healthy back up" if round one didn't work. I immediately got very worried and upset but quickly came to realize that I need to stay positive and understand that our odds are in our favour for the two that are transferred and we have one very healthy embryo frozen. I shared the news with brett and he went down that same dark road that I quickly bounced out of. I shared encouraging words, excitement and positive thoughts with him and encouraged him to stay present with what is going on now and we will worry about what to do if this does not work the first time when the time comes. I want him to enjoy this ride, as stressful as it is, it is very beautiful at the same time. 

Its Transfer Time

October 22 - Its the night before transfer day, I can not believe its almost here it seemed so far away for so long. Raylene, Brett and I all stay in a hotel close to the clinic in Vancouver and spend the night building up our excitement for whats about to happen. As Raylene's husband drops Raylene off he jokes to us and says "Generally if my wife was to go and spends the night in a hotel with two men I would say better not come back pregnant, but this time I am going to say you better come back pregnant". We all laughed and it really showed the incredible strength and dedication in there relationship. Raylene and Jeremy have been together for 18 years and his support through this entire process shows what an special husband he is to Raylene and what a incredible friend he has become of Brett and I.

October 23 rolls around and there is a silent but peaceful vibe in our room and it carried us all the way to the clinic. It was finally here and all of our lives where about to change forever. We arrive at Olive and again are greeted by the receptionist and she shares "its finally time, I am so excited for you guys". Shortly after arriving we are taken to the patient area again and we all sat in the waiting room staring at each other in silence. We were all speechless, excited and nervous at the same time. After a short wait we were brought into the procedure room and Dr Hikari was our Dr again. He greets us and brings us two pictures and says " these could be your first baby pictures" It was two pictures, one of the Brett's Embryo and the other of mine. Earlier I mentioned that the clinic fertilized half with me and the other half with Brett. They also agreed to transfer one of each at the same time so we both have the same chances. Brett and I spent many hours talking about this and both understood that most likely only one would take if any and that it did not matter to either one of us on who's took. This baby was going to be our Baby no matter the genetic make up and nothing would change that. Dr Hikari then shares with us that out of the 12 embryos we have two perfect ones selected for transfer, one set to be frozen and the remaining to be observed over night to see if they can be frozen or not.  This entire process has been so fascinating from start to finish. At this time we are still in the procedure room and Dr Hikari and getting everything prepped for transfer. While he does this there is this big flat screen TV on the wall and its a live view of the embryos they are transferring waiting in a Petri dish. As I am memorized and fixed on the screen I have what I think is the first feeling of pride of fatherhood. Maybe a bit pre mature, but I felt something special in my heart at that very moment. For those who know us,  I am a get it done busy body and always on the move and Brett is my laid back relaxed husband that keeps me grounded... Well apparently that goes right through our DNA because as we watch the two embryos on the screen, Brett's stayed stationary and mine was moving around all over the place as if it was saying come on guys lets get err done! We all laughed and I know it most likely was not moving on it own but it did seem very fitting. within minutes the embryologist Jane comes in with a long needless (Thank god) syringe with our two perfect little embryos in it and minutes later they are implanted in place and the rest is left up to nature.

Heres a picture of the two little embryo's we transfer, who know this could be our first baby pictures!

With the uncertainty of our remaining embryos that are under observation for freezing we leave feeling very positive that this round is going to work. We are told that we would be contacted with 24 hours with an update on how many more they would be able to freeze. As we are leaving I quickly have to snap out of my thought that Raylene is now made of glass and trust the process and her body to do the rest. We at this time now have to wait 2 weeks till we can do our pregnancy test. This is the longest hardest period of time now for any IVF parent as we all so badly want to know if it worked and what to expect.

That evening Brett was in a hotel in Vancouver for a course for work, Raylene was at home and Nikayla and I were relaxing on the couch together. As most people going through IVF we all ran to the internet and we were all searching everything from "when will I feel pregnant after IVF" to "what should my embryo look like". It consumed us all as we all are hoping and praying this is going to work. Raylene having experience being pregnant with her three children obviously knew most of the answers we were all searching. 

Fertilization of the Eggs

The next stage is the fertilization of the eggs, this is were things get even more interesting. Brett and I both wanted the opportunity to have our own biological child so Olive Fertility fertilized 8 eggs with Brett's sperm and the remaining 7 with mine. This was done the day of the retrieval and we just had to sit back, pray and wait for nature to allow the process of these 15 fertilized eggs to turn into embryos. Through this entire process I have spent endless amounts of time chatting with my friend Candice about everything we were doing as she also went through this entire process with her husband which had the end result of a beautiful healthy and perfect little boy. She always kept me positive and always reminded me not to get discouraged with the numbers and that we only needed two healthy embryos for transfer. So I echoed her advised in my head over the next several days and she helped me stay grounded and I thank her for being such a special friend. She shared so much with me and helped me understand the process as an expecting parent but also as the woman going through all these procedures. It furthered my gratitude for Raylene and Lisa even more and it was already over the moon and back.



After 24 of the longest hours of my life I get a call from Olive Fertility and they let me know that 12 of the 15 fertilized eggs made it through the night and have formed into the start of a healthy embryo. I was told during this call that the goal is going to be for a Day 5 Blastocyst Transfer, but we must be prepared for a Day 3 transfer if they don't continue to grow. So now we wait 48 hours, as if the first 24 hours were not long enough... Monday (Day 3) rolls around and I get a call from Olive as I am driving into work and they advised me that all 12 have made it through to Day 3 and that we will be doing a Day 5 blastocyst transfer and to get Raylene prepared for this. 

Egg Retrieval Day

Oct 18th comes very quickly, its egg retrieval day and we have all done the wrong thing and googled everything about everything about egg retrieval and are left with an exciting but unsettling feeling. Worried it will hurt and be uncomfortable we all hold our breath as we pull into the underground parkade of Olive Fertility. We park our car, hop in the elevator and make our way up to the clinic. We are greeted by there lovely receptionist, but this time she shares "good luck today" and it was very genuine. We get brought into the patient area by a lovely nurse Mikey. She was exactly what we needed. She broke our fear and tension down and was an incredible support network from start to finish. She got Lisa, Brett and I relaxed in our waiting area. She gives lisa her "Bottle of wine" to make the procedure more comfortable for her.

 Within an hour we are taken into the room where the retrieval is done. With Brett and I on one side, She has Mikey on the other side holding her hand giving her words of encouragement and reinforcing how great she is doing through the entire process. We all gained a special bond with her that day as we really felt she was part of the process with us and made it so much more comfortable. Dr Hikari was the Dr who did the retrieval and he was incredible. Made Lisa feel very comfortable and talked us through the entire procedure. 

In total the procedure was about 15 minutes and Lisa did incredible, she was so strong and positive through the entire process. We went back to the recovery room and relaxed until she was ready to leave. Before leaving Paula came in and praised Lisa for how great she did and gave us our final egg retrieval count. They managed to retrieve 15 healthy eggs, which is more then we were expecting!

On our drive home Lisa mentions "well my part is done", I answer back your part will never be "done". She had given us a gift that will continue giving through the enjoyment of raising our own child and a chance to experience all the incredible milestones that she has had with her own son. That day was the first big step into Brett and I being Daddys!

Raylene and Lisa start their Meds!

Raylene had to start right away with the pill, then moved through a nose spray which she describes as chemical warfare in her mouth, then estrace, progesterone, multivitamins and prenatal vitamins. This was all to prepare her uterus and body for the transfer of our embryos.

Lisa started with the pill shortly after then on Oct 6th she started her injections. She was such a strong woman through this entire process. My incredible fear of needles almost left me passed out on the floor after watching her do one of her injections. It also did something else for me, it showed me a woman who did not need to inject her body with all these medications everyday but so willing did this to help us start a family. This still overwhelms me to this day on how special she is for doing this for us. 

Orientation time with Olive Fertility

I will back up a little bit here and talk "fate" and how everything started to come together so easy. On Aug 26th We all had had our counselling session with Chandra, who looks after all the screening for Olive Fertility. She took in each party on there own and took the time to find out a little bit about each of us and why we were doing what we were doing. She took Brett and I in last and we chatted about our relationship, our thoughts on parenthood and everything in between. By the end of the appt she shared with us that everyone involved is doing this for us for the right reason and that we were so lucky to have these incredible friends in our lives. 

Following our appt we all rushed over to Olive Fertility for our orientation with Sue. This appointment was for Raylene and Lisa to have a quick check up with the Dr's and then for us all to sit down with Sue to go over our "Plan and Process". As Sue started explaining what we needed to "wait" for in order to start, Raylene piped up and advised "it started today"... We all looked at each other with excitement as that now meant this all starts today!!! Sue just as excited as we are starts the process of putting the "Plan" into motion right away. Raylene and Lisa were prescribed all there medication and we later all went to the pharmacy to get everything we needed to start a family for Brett and I. 

Our switch from Genesis Fertility to Olive Fertility

At this time we were excited to move forward but had the sudden delay as our Fertility Clinic splitting up into two separate clinics.  We were empowered with the choice to move forward with Genesis and a different Dr but we elected to stay with Dr Taylor and her team and waited for Olive Fertility Clinic in Vancouver to open. It was more then worth the wait. For those of you reading this that have worked with Olive Fertility you will know exactly what I am talking about. There is not one person in that office that is not as compassionate and supportive as the next.

When Olive opened we continued to work with Dr Taylor, Sue and Paula which we were very happy about. Since we were now working with Lisa our Egg Donor and very dear friend, we had been introduced to another one of Olive Fertility's finest Dr Hitkari. Raylene and Lisa really encouraged us to come in with them to all of there exams and procedures so we could really experience the entire process. Dr Hitkari did a majority of the ultrasounds for Lisa and did the retrieval and transfer. He was so gentle, caring and supportive to Raylene, Lisa, Brett and I. He was a true gift in this entire nerve racking process. Again here I sound like a broken record, but this team wowed us day in and day out and I will never forget a moment of what they have done for us. 

How Lisa became our Egg Donor

After conversations with Brett and Raylene we found that the best option for us and the

perfect "fit" for our family was Raylenes very close friend Lisa. Brett and I had met Lisa a few times that year before all of this through Baseball as she plays on the same team as Raylene and our friend Nina. We always thought Lisa was fantastic and a very sweet lady. We sat down with Lisa and Raylene and chatted about this entire process and Brett and I got to know Lisa better and had a chance to find out what compelled her to want to help us out. She said it was very easy answer, She said she loves being a mother and she wanted to share the incredible feeling of parenthood with two deserving dads. It was so pure, so honest and exactly what we wanted to hear. Brett and I have been very particular during this entire process. We want to be able to look back on all of this and know that everyone involved wanted this baby in the world just as much as we did and for all the right reasons. We found that in Lisa and we are forever indebted to her.

I am not sure if you know the process for an egg donor, but it is not exactly a fun process. Lisa had to go though an extensive screening process, counselling and daily injections to get her body ready for the egg retrieval and the retrieval process is not the most pleasant experience.

Finding our Egg Donor

Currently Canada does not have an Egg Donor program so we had no choice but to go down a very expensive road of an anomonous egg donor out of the USA.  We got connected to this site that had all these woman's profiles with details about them and their pictures. It was a very surreal process.  As we dug deeper we found out just how expensive this process was and it had no guarantee of working. Brett and I had been saving every extra penny we had to pay for this process but then were faced with a very real reality of there is no guarantee and we could put every penny of our savings into this and be left with nothing but a void in our hearts.


I had many conversations with Sue at this point, and I became a broken record on my concerns and fears. Again she lifted me up, dusted me off and said we will figure this out together. She then suggested the option of seeing if a friend or family member would be open to the idea of being an egg donor for us as it could potential increase our chances of success as we would be working with fresh eggs, rather then frozen from the Donor Egg Bank out of the USA. I was again faced with how do I ever ask someone to do that for us. I spoke with Raylene about what was tabled as an option and what does this incredible woman do.... She gets on the phone and starts sharing our story with her friends with the hopes someone with an open heart and mind would want to help us.



Raylene msg's me hours later with three woman who wanted to help us. That heart pounding moment that I felt when she offered to be our surrogate came rushing back as my eyes whelled up I turned to Brett in our moment of helplessness and shared the news. He was speechless and will never forget the look in his eyes. It was a look of hope, something so special that I will forever hold in my heart. 

Finding our Fertility Clinic

So within days of Raylenes offer to help us start a family we started the very fun process of finding a fertility clinic and working out how this really was going to work as we had NO idea.  I contacted Genesis Fertility Clinic in Vancouver and was connected with two incredibly supportive woman Sue and Paula. They both helped me through this entire process from the very start. I spoke with Paula first, we chatted a few times for up to an hour where she answered all my questions and gave me kind and encouraging words of wisdom. She really made me feel comfortable and confident with the process we were about to start. Paula then got me connected with Sue as Sue was who was going to assist us with the "Egg Donor" process as Raylene was going to be Gestational Surrogate for us.

So we had our first appointment with Dr Taylor and got that same warm and fuzzy feeling we got with Sue and Paula. I knew we found the team we wanted to work with to start our family. Dr Taylor again was so kind and encouraging and very supportive and excited for us. This had been an emotional roller coster for us with so many unknowns and I think she could sense my emotional state as I left her office from our second appointment, she looked at me and extended her arms and gave me a big hug and let me know she felt very positive about this and was excited for us.

How Raylene became our Surrogate

In 2011 Brett and I really started to talk more and more about having a baby. We went back and forth and all over the place between adoption and surrogacy. Adoption was not an option we felt overly comfortable as Brett and I are a non traditional family and we did not want anyone to be able to hold that against us for being parents. 

At this time we did not have anyone willing to be a surrogate for us and its not really an easy thing to ask someone, "Ohh hey would you mind having a baby for us". How do you ask someone to carry your child for 9 months, give birth to your child then simply hand your baby over to you. Brett and I have been very open with our friends and family about wanting to start a family one day, however not knowing were to start. We have always been embraced with love and support but it still left us not knowing what our next step was going to be.

Then an incredibly beautifully kind hearted friend Raylene approached me one day and said, I would like to be a surrogate for you and Brett. I didn't know what to say, I was taken back as it was the most selfless, beautiful thing someone could ever offer to a couple wanting a family so bad but don't have the ability to start one on there own. As my heart is pounding in my chest I said "YES" we would love if you could do this with us and asked her to talk to her family about it first and we could sit down after. To my surprise she had already spoken to her family and they were just as excited and supportive as she was. 

Raylene and I met 3 years ago as we work together and I have always felt a connection with her. Raylene's quirky sarcastic funny side worked well with my own personality and allowed us to have fun dialogue and banter which in turn made work that much more enjoyable. She is a Mother of 3 and has been with her husband Jeremy for going on 18 years. Over the past few years we have become closer and closer and have had the chance to support each other in the many ups and downs in our own personal lives and through this entire process. Raylene, Jeremy and their 3 children have now become an extension of our family and we could never thank them enough for being part of this very special journey. 

How Nikayla got us "ready" for Parenthood

Brett and i started our "Family" with bringing home an amazing chocolate Lab puppy and we named her Nikayla. Shes been a gift to us, our friends and our family. 

When we went to pick our puppy we had all this little lab puppies jumping all over us, then strolls over Nikayla and she walks over to me, licks my hand a bit then strolls off to the side and lays down as if she was saying "I will just wait over here, come get me when your ready". Nikayla was the runt of the litter, so quite a bit smaller then the rest. She also had this little grey mark on her tail which almost lead to us not taking her home. 

We continued playing with the other puppies but we were both still so drawn to Nikayla. There was something special about her and could not quite put our finger on it but we knew she was the one for us and she knew we were the ones for her. We took the "risk" and both decided we would take the anti social puppy in the corner of the room with the little grey mark on her tail. 

We brought Nikayla home and she started to show us just how special she was right from day one. She slept through the night and very quickly became both of our shadows however she had the independence to be ok when we were not around. We went through the process of puppy food, puppy toys, "potty training", teaching her rules and boundaries and all at the same time showing her how much we loved and appreciated her. 


Nikayla was never a "dog" to Brett and I, but rather an extension and start of our family. Often we would hear from friends saying "You know guys she is a dog not a human" and did we listen or really care? No... Nikayla was teaching us accountability, responsibility and introduced us to idea of parenthood. Once we expressed that to some people we got "Having a dog is not like having kids". Of course, we know that but we can not discredit how instrumental Nikayla was in our own personal process to get us to where we are today and we love her and thank her for that. Some people also say that our priority will change when it comes to Nikayla when we have a baby. Yes priorities will change to allow room and love for our new little addition to our family but our love and admiration for Nikayla will never change or become any less then what it is today. 


So What I have learned through all of this is everyones process is different when it comes to your own lives. We are all empowered chose our own path and I can honestly say we are very comfortable and happy with the path we have chosen. To some Nikayla is "Just a Dog" to us she is a very integral part of our soon to be growing family.

Being Gay in the middle of BC's Bible Belt

This was a huge concern for me and really could have put a wedge in Brett and I's relationship. I grew up in the "City" and was working in DT Vancouver when we met,  one of the most Gay friendly city's in the world and then I meet this "corn chucking" Chilliwack boy who has no interest in city life. We dated for about 6 months before I ended up moving out to Chilliwack. We rented a nice condo "DT" as I honestly thought I was going to be able to convince Brett to move out to the city. I soon realized that this was not going to happen so we bought a townhouse a year later. We lived in this for a year and could not handle strata life so we sold and bought a house around the corner in a new development. It was a home that we could grow in and we put in a beautiful suite for my mom. She moved out here and started a family business with us which is now very successful! It is very nice to have my mom so close as a close relationship with our children is very important to me as I had with my grandparents. 

Back to being a gay couple in the Bible Belt... Prior to moving to Chilliwack I had never been to Chilliwack. I had the perception that all "religious" people where a "certain" way and I quickly learned I was sooo sooo wrong about this place I now call home. This community of 90000 people showed me everything I was not expecting. We have made incredible friends that love us for us and support our rights as an equal couple. We are both employed by large influential companies in our community and we are treated no different then married Bob and Joanne.

I have found out over time that some of our friends are in fact religious and have strong christian/catholic beliefs. This is the part that really showed me how society is evolving on both sides... I had this perception of religious people and what they were all about and many religious people had this perception of what gay people were about. I quickly learned with open minds and open hearts we can let go of what we "believe" is true and allow us to "see" what is actually true. Our community has evolved to open there hearts to good kind hearted people no matter there sexual orientation and we have allowed ourselves to remove our barriers that prevented these genuinely great people into our lives. Many of our friends have small children too and they are teaching there kids tolerance and acceptance that will pave the way to a beautiful world that we can all share together. 

Brett is also an avid Baseball player and a great one at that. When he told me he played baseball I questioned if I should come watch him play.. "Do they know he's gay" "How would they react to me" "Will they treat Brett differently"? To my surprise many people knew Brett was gay however he never really had a BF at his game regularly in the past. I started coming to his games and quietly sat on the bench not knowing what to expect.. Then rolls in our now very close friend Lucy... She took me in under her wing, taught me everything I needed to know about baseball and showed me how to score keep for the team! Over time I got to know Brett's team more and started building great friendships with his teammates with some now being great friends of ours. I also started to get a chance to meet other teams at the local tournaments and Brett has never been shy about introducing me as his "Partner". To my surprise again, welcomed and treated no different then anyone else there. I could not have been more wrong about how I thought my life would be in Chilliwack and I am very grateful for that. 

We all have the opportunity to surround ourselves with good solid people and that is what we have connected ourselves with. I know there are people out there that do not agree with our lifestyle and the idea of two men raising a child together.. Do we care? No, not the slightest bit! We will love, nurture and provide for our children to the fullest and they will always be surround by u

A little bit about us....

Brett and I met in 2009 and have been together now for going on five years. We connected on levels that I have never felt before. We met on the ever so popular dating site Plenty of Fish and chatted for almost a year before actually meeting. Conversation was effortless and free flowing and when we finally met we both knew we had something special to hold tight too. August 30th, 2009 was the day I knew I found the man I was going to grow old with, buy a home with and fill that home with a beautiful family.

In May of 2013, on Brett's 30th Birthday, and our annual trip down to Mexico, I popped the question and asked Brett to marry me! I had fun with this proposal. I contacted our friends and family from all over the county and asked them take a picture holding a letter. Once I strung them all together it spelled "Will You Marry Me". I made a video with music that he watched on his 30th birthday in Mexico, and with teary eyes and open arms he said "YES" and we started the next chapter together in our lives. A wedding will be in a few years yet as all our focus and extra money is going towards starting a family.

Below is the proposal video I made for Brett, it was a lot of fun to make it so neat to see what we have accomplished in our time together so far.